This past week one of my newest and dearest friends lost her husband to neuroendocrine carcinoma–a fancy type of cancer that ravaged his body and robbed him of life for the past two years. Although I didn’t know Jon before he was sick, I knew he was a great father to his three children and loved his family with his whole heart. As I sat next to his bedside with Hope and some other close friends and family members, watching and listening to Jon struggle to breathe, I couldn’t help but wonder why in my short 30 years, I’ve been witness to so many deaths. Literally. I have to believe that there is a higher purpose for this all. If you have any insights, please share…because sometimes I wonder how much more I can endure.

I could go on and on about his wife Hope–her strength, perseverance, faith and her similar philosophy to enjoy life and make the most of it. This family was no stranger to tragedy–their daughter lost the use of her legs at 3 years old in a tragic car accident. Hope is now a widowed mother of three…with one in a wheelchair. Please keep her in your prayers and she continues this journey.

I’m always amazed at how NOT easy life is, but ever grateful that God has always promised that if we rely on him we can pull through. He never promised that life would be easy and simple. In fact, quite the opposite. Psalm 34:19 A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all. John 16:33“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

To preserve memories for her children, I took pictures at his Life Celebration Ceremony…(none of us like the f-word). You can see the mixture of pain and joy on people’s faces. It’s so hard to lose someone in this life but at services like this we can rejoice knowing they are now in a better place than even we are. I’m reminded to keep enjoying this life–to rejoice in my sufferings–and most importantly to look forward to the life after this one.

Jon you were loved by many and will be missed by many. My heart aches and rejoices with you, Hope. I love you. God will provide…and so will I

And she had hair of onyx, like her mother, it even had some curl.

Here’s the store, of a man named Gene, who was in the military zone.

He was one man, and had it all together,  yet he was all alone.

Till the one day when the lady met this fellow, and they knew it was much more than a hunch,

That these two would somehow form a family.

That’s the way the two became the DeWulf Bunch. The DeWulf Bunch…

WOW. That was the cheesiest thing I’ve done in a while. Forget I just sang that to you. But srsly, I was so excited when I was asked to come and photograph a very special birthday…a 60th birthday! Berma, or B’Ma, as the grandkids know her, is an incredible woman. I love the dynamics between Berma and Gene, her husband. He’s the refined, dare I say strict, and by the book Army Colonel (retired now). She’s a feisty and cheerful Puerto Rican with a ton of energy! Their love story reminds me of a movie scene: tall, handsome soldier walks into the officer’s club on base and asks the cute, bubbly nurse to dance. They dated, got married, had three beautiful kids. Now, in the last two years, they’ve become grandparents of 5, yes 5, grandkids. And one on the way will make 6. So blessed.

Happy Birthday Berma! Thanks for letting me come hang out and eat your yummy food! You have a beautiful family and a beautiful heart!

Xander’s party was a blast last Saturday–we spent time playing on the playground, petting dogs, eating burgers and hotdogs and opening presents…the usual birthday  party. Thankfully, Xander is walking on his cast now, so he was able to get around by himself for the most part. His doggie-themed party was a hit for all the kids, sans Angelina, who is absolutely terrified of dogs. It’s like she was born with an intense fear of them–it practically started at birth, seriously. Although she’s scared of dogs, she did surprisingly well, all things considered. I mean, even though she was literally on top of the tables the whole party, at least she came! Before she had told me, “Mommy, I love Xander, but I’m not coming to his birthday party. I hate dogs. I’ll just have to do something special with him later on.”

On a sad note, 3 of my very close friends have experienced major tragedies in their lives this week. I can’t go into great detail, but it’s so terribly hard to watch them suffering. My mom lost her father this week too. She’s flown out to Arizona to arrange his funeral…he was her last immediate family member. I also found out that Tim McNeil, a man that I grew to know and admire, has passed away from GBM–the same tumor Spencer had. His wife Cindy has been an incredible support to me through my journey.

Due to all these circumstances, I will be staying in town next weekend, instead of traveling to Duke for the Angels Among Us walk. I’m still raising money, and it will still be donated in honor of Spencer, I just won’t be there to run the race. It makes me sad to miss it, but I feel like God is making it clear that I need to stay in town. Thanks everyone who donated money outright and for those that booked a photography session with me to raise money.

I feel like I have so much to say about suffering…and still so much to learn. I read a couple articles today regarding suffering. I just needed perspective. You can read one of them here. I liked this last quote from the article: “Don’t ignore God’s lessons for you. For, if you do you will only walk in darkness and live in torment; instead, allow God to teach you what you need to know about your life, so that you may set an example of what it truly means to live by and uphold the faith of Jesus Christ. So instead of complaining about your problems, eagerly look for opportunities to comfort and encourage others who are suffering with you, showing them what it means to love and be loved. In this way your life will not only be a testimony of the power of God, it will also be a blessing to others.”

Here are some pictures of Xander’s party. For some reason I somehow managed not to get a picture of my mom, Camille and a couple other mother’s there. Guess some folks were avoiding the camera…or I could have just been preoccupied. *Thanks Dana for helping me!

Enjoy and Happy Tuesday…um…nevermind. Happy Wednesday! (it’s 12:12 am). Must go to bed. Now.

ps-I love this song: Lullaby by The Dixie Chicks. So sweet.

It’s always fun to watch the dramatic differences between boys and girls. Emma opened one of her presents to find a teddy bear…ripe for cuddling (which she did)…or you could be Tristan and see this same teddy bear and tackle it to the ground instead (nothing like a teddy wrestling match). Typical. Gotta love our natural differences…boys and girls, that is. (I know there are exceptions to the rule, fyi )

Thanks so much mom’s for letting me photograph your baby’s…I mean toddlers’…special day!

ps-Become my Fan on Facebook! It would make me smile

pss-MOTHER’S DAY is coming up (don’t forget). I’m sure all your mothers and grandmothers would love new pictures of the family (at least mine do)! Call or email to book a photo session for Mother’s Day! brianne@briannewhitworth.com or 706.372.1146.

Spencer’s birthday is on April 27th. Although he won’t be here to celebrate 31 years of life, I still wanted to do something special for this day in memory of him. I will be participating in Duke University’s Angels Among Us walk for brain cancer research the weekend of his birthday. To raise money and awareness, I’ll be holding 30 minute mini portrait sessions on April 10th & 11th, 17th & 18th. Please call to book your specific time. If you’d like to donate money for the cause (without getting your pretty face photographed), please email me at brianne@briannewhitworth.com or you can mail a donation to 554 Providence Place, Statham, GA 30666. Please be sure to let me know what it’s for…wouldn’t want that money to sneak into my checking account (tee hee…just kidding, of course).

Please help me make a small difference in this world…I mean, don’t you want to walk away feeling good and LOOKING GOOD in your pictures?!?

Sending my love and gratitude.

ps-forward to your friends and family ~please~

Call me to book your session! 706.372.1146

It was an amazing experience though. We’ve been training off and on for a couple months now, but we were definitely not prepared…haha. When we checked in the day before, Angela and I asked if we could draft off each other (which we read was against the rules) and the race dudes looked at each other like we were crazy…they said with a smirk and a laugh, “No, you two don’t understand…these are professionals out there. This is serious.” haha. None of us were really taking it that seriously…so we just had to laugh as well.

I’ll shorten the race to two words as well: long and painful. The first run went smoothly (although I nearly started crying at the prospect of what the race could really look like for me…I mean, who wants to poop their pants…really?!?). Let me clarify-God spared me from that misery. THANK YOU JESUS! I finished in 28 minutes. The bike on the other hand, was TORTURE, especially because I hadn’t eaten. By mile 15 (the halfway point) I seriously thought I would have to quit…I relied on God though, ate a little food and kept going. By this time, me, Angela, Cindy, Will and James were separated. ps-I almost got hit by 3 deer at this point too…nobody told me to watch out for deer charging your bike! I kept pushing though because at this point I just wanted to get off my bike! For real!

The last three miles were insane. I seriously felt like I had nothing left to give…my cup was empty, so to speak. I couldn’t even feel my legs and feet…they were totally numb from the cold. It wasn’t until I walked/run 1.5 miles that I got feeling back. I also met a little (ok, he was a big one) angel by the name of Bob. He and I were “duking” it out on the run. I’d run, he’d walk, then he’d run and I’d walk. Finally I just asked him to do it together…so for the last 2 miles we walked and ran together. It made that last leg so much more enjoyable.

Needless to say I was just happy to cross that finish line! Woo hoo. There were so many spiritual parallels for me. I felt like Paul when he said, “For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.” (2 Tim 4:6-8). Except I didn’t win a crown in this race…I didn’t win any prize actually…but then again, my prize isn’t here on earth at all.

Here are some of the pictures from the trip. pss-thanks so much Jeff for watching the kids during the race so we could do it! You’re my hero

We missed you Jason! We’ll do another one so that you can join us…and kick all our tails.

Click on the link below for the professional race shots.

Will

Me

Angela

James

Helping Angela run through the finish line

I’ll just say two words to describe my birthday: REDNECK…wait for it….ROLLERDERBY. Wait, is that three words? Huh. Anyways. Yes, like a 12 year old, I rented out an entire roller skating rink just so we could party like it’s 1999…or 2010. Whatever. We dressed up in our finest roller derby gear, which included skirts, crazy tights, and various accessories ranging from a blue lightening bolt on a face (yeah, that’d be me…don’t hate) to Luke Perry dangle earrings to wrist bands that said “Talk Derby to Me”. We were serious…well, serious posers that is! We definitely did not do any official roller-derbying (is that a word?).The owners of this joint aka Skate-A-Rama were officially country. When we arrived they were lined up outside waiting on us…and I quote “We ain’t never had no party like dis befoe.” Yes, they even busted out their camera phones to capture the night of their life as well. If you find us on youtube, please let me know.

We did, however, have tons of fun. We skated around to various music artists, raced around the track, and even did the limbo. The “races” included two wipe-outs with injuries that included me breaking my tailbone (seriously) to Angela eating it in a fashion worthy of America’s Funniest Home Videos. I must say after breaking my tailbone for the second time in my life, I officially “felt” 30. You just don’t heal like you used to…kwim? Let me just poke fun at the “announcer” for our races too…for those of you who have seen The Waterboy with Adam Sandler, yeah, this guy talked like that crazy cajun dude. You couldn’t understand a word he said!?! He spoke in mumbles and spittles…and the race began something like this…”umkay..yusladys redy tos sturtthem reces?”…us, “huh?”…him, “i sed yalsredy tus recroun da treck?”…us, “huh?!?”…him, “albakme asklils lissle tislake”…ok, so I’m exagerating that last one a little. But srsly, you couldn’t understand him! haha. It was so funny.

After breaking my tailbone I ventured over to enjoy my wonderful cupcakes and open my presents…standing. I laughed hard, I cried hard at all the wonderful and thoughtful presents. A couple of special note (they were all special, but just thought I’d mention a couple): Natalie knew one of the things on my bucket list was to learn to cook so she compiled a cookbook with friend’s favorite dishes! tears welling up…. Then Cindy aka Edward Cullen sent me an incredibly romantic card which had me bursting into laughter…lastly Meg put together a tear-jerking scrapbook of Spencer’s 30th surprise birthday party from last year. I couldn’t even look at the album there. I knew I would burst into some major tears. It was fabulous though.

For those wondering how I did emotionally going through my first BIG birthday without Spencer…I’ll just say this. He was there with me. I just know it. He would have planned something just as crazy and spontaneous and special for me. So, no matter that I had to arrange it myself (with the help of many friends…special thanks to Camille for the funky t-shirts), it was still special. I missed him terribly and wished he could have been there…let’s just say my birthday wish involved him.

After skating, we went out for sushi…my all-time favorite! YuM! Then we lamely went to the 80′s bar…appropriately named because they jam to 80′s music. However, since we started our evening so early to begin with, the bar wasn’t even open yet. Wow, did we feel silly! We chilled at Starbucks and then went back to listen to a couple songs. Check out the picture of Gayle and Alice doing the sprinkler…

I have learned a lot over the past year and a half. Perhaps in the next couple posts, I’ll let you take a peek into my thoughts on being 30…they are pretty deep.

As always I’m sending my love and letting my little light shine

Brianne